Monday, April 15, 2013

Heavy hearted

Well, I had planned on posting a little tonight about my weight loss victories of the past few days because I am proud of them. But I feel all wrong posting about that sort of thing before at least expressing my deep sorrow and condolences for all of those affected by the bombing at the Boston marathon. I guess as an aspiring runner it makes me heart heavy to think that something as simple and as old as this marathon will now be tainted forever by this horrible tragedy. Which is not to even mention the horror at those who were injured or lives lost, like that of an eight-year-old. Boston, it's residents, and all those affected have my prayers and thoughts tonight.

So, I will tell you about my weight loss victories, because I think it's time to stop letting violence overtake life. But it is with a heavy heart tonight, and these small victories seem so much less sweet to me than they did twelve hours ago.

I've counted points and tracked my eating all week. I haven't done that for months. I haven't stayed under my points every single day, but I haven't gone over my weekly points, and I've faithfully tracked. This includes Sophie's birthday party on Saturday. I definitely went over, but I tracked it.

I've had my head in the game all week. I've had WW on the brain in a way I haven't for a while. So I'm happy about that because I have been just kind of letting it go ignored and I guess I think it's a good sign I'm thinking a lot about it again.

A friend offered to bring me doughnuts and coffee this morning. I said no to the doughnuts, yes to the coffee. I thought last night, when she offered, that not having doughnuts would totally justify having a huge, fat and sugar laden Frappucino this morning. However, when the time came and she asked what I wanted, I asked for a Venti skinny vanilla latte. Four points instead of 14. No whip. It was still tasty, just not awful and calorie laden. I try to avoid artificial sweeteners, but this latte was fortunately not SUPER sweet, so hopefully didn't use much. I was EXTREMELY proud of myself for this. I can justify to myself almost any calorie laden thing. And my brain didn't even really go there. So that's awesome.

I ate a cupcake today left over from Sophie's birthday. I really wanted a second. But when I figured the points and tracked it, I decided a second cupcake wasn't really worth it to me. So I didn't have one. That makes me happier than the cupcake would have.

If I could bear in mind how good these things make me feel, I think it would go a long way to helping me cut back on eating junk. I've felt proud of having a 4 point coffee instead of a 14 point coffee all day. If I had had the 14 point coffee, I wouldn't even be thinking about it anymore, it would've just been one  more junky thing I would have shoveled into my face. But instead, I'm feeling proud of myself and happy at my choice. And hopefully these little choices will all add up to good numbers on the scale on Thursday.

I also want to share about these things at Weight Watchers on Thursday. Maybe they will help someone else. We never really know if what we are sharing is what someone else desperately needs to hear. So don't keep your light under a basket! The world needs all of our light, especially now.

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