Thursday, April 28, 2011

No "Things" Thursday

I really have nothing in particular that I'm into this week. Same ol' stuff. I love my new HTC Incredible and I enjoyed watching the NFL draft tonight, but that doesn't make for many things. So I'll just tell you about my day!

It was a really nice day with my mom. The kind that you look back on in years to come as a fond memory. We didn't do anything spectacular but we had such fun.

I had planned on going to mom and dad's today to let Chevy play with their dog, Maggie. As I was driving over, my mom called and asked if I could help her with a project. She said she had been invited to a "Royal Wedding" party tonight and the host had asked everyone to wear English-like hats. She hoped I could help her decorate a hat to wear. Oh, y'all, I was so excited. The chance to make a wild and wonderful hat for a silly party? Right up my crafter's alley! I told her absolutely. So we decided we would go to Michael's, then have lunch, then go to Target. I told her I had great hat plans which may or may not include rhinestones and fake birds. What I meant was tuat her hat would absolutely have rhinestones and fake birds.

We hit up Michael's and I found the perfect ribbon, pink and purple flowers, two fake pink and purple rhinestone-decorated birds, two big beaded butterflies, rhinestones, and a big purple feather. I knew then that this hat was going to be epic. At one point, my mom mentioned that my dad thought she was crazy for planning to get up at 2:00 AM for this party. I was shocked. I thought she had meant a party this evening to simply celebrate the wedding, not watch it live! But no... they will be watching at 4:00 AM when some British strangers tie the knot. But she is a night nurse, so I suppose she and her nurse friends are used to odd hours.

During checkout, my mom told the cashier that we were making a hat for the Royal Wedding party. "Oh," said the cashier, "Then you'll definitely want one of these royal engagement ring replicas!" After trying one on, my mom decided she had to have one and offered me one too. It was an offer I couldn't refuse and we proudly wore our $9.99 replica engagement rings ("no prince required", the display said) to lunch. We decided on Red Lobster and got seated next to two hilarious older gentlemen.

One was wearing dress shoes with no socks. They were deep in conversation when we were seated. Their conversations sounded like this: "Ya know, Jimmy. He would do anything you ask, that Jimmy. Like if you wanted to go on a date with a girl, but she wouldn't go without her friend for a double date. So you'd call Jimmy and tell him you needed him to go out with this broad. And even though she's ugly and she's 300 pounds, Jimmy; he'd do it for ya, he would go with her." Yes, he said broad. It was hilarious to listen to these two. Anyway, at one point they started talking to us, telling us jokes that were just slightly off-color but not enough to be offensive. Both were Colorado natives and they'd gone to high school together. The one guy said, "My oldest daughter, she's 60! I can't believe it; I have a kid who's a senior citizen!" My mom said, "I know! I can't believe my daughter is almost 30!" The guy says, "THIRTY?! That's nothin'! I got shoes older than her!" Anyway. They were a crack up and it was so nice to see a couple of older people just enjoying themselves and their friendship. "Thanks for great service, sweetheart," he told the waitress, "We'll be sure to come back again sometime, when we've got money." The waitress said they're regulars and everyone loves to wait on them.

Then we went to Target to get stuff for my mom to make scones and Devonshire cream with, and to buy a water bottle for Gage. We also ended up getting Gage a giant ball to play with, a sleep sounds frog, and a cool pair of sunglasses. After Target, it was back to my mom's house so the hat decorating could commence. In under an hour, I made her probably the coolest, gaudiest, most hilarious "English" hat. There were many laughs about how I missed my calling as a haberdasher. At the end of this post I'll show you a picture of this hat; it was a beautiful creation. I warned my mom to keep it on for the whole party because others may get so jealous as to want to steal it.

Mom left for a hair appointment and my dad and I let Gage play outside for a while. My dad said he was a little disappointed to not be invited to the party, not because he cares about the royals, but because it would be fun and sort of special to get up for a 3:00 AM party. I kind of agree, even though I will probably never go to a 3:00 AM party. But just think of how you'd always have memories of how you woke up in the middle of the night for it?! It just would be a kooky memory.

Gage and I headed home and Brian got home shortly after. We watched the draft, played with Gage, and enjoyed ourselves. Such a nice evening, just our little family of four. I love it when we can spend time doing nothing and enjoy it as much as we do. I love my husband, son, and fur-kid so much. So all-in-all, I would say today was a pretty darn nice Thursday.

So here's two things I like on this Thursday... my life and my family. I don't know what I would do without my people.

Edit: I can't get my phone to upload the hat pics into Blogger. So come back tomorrow; I'll have pictures of it up then!

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Just a few random thoughts.

I'm super tired and ready to sleep. I'm still not totally over the plague, so I'll just share a couple thoughts for tonight. In bullet point format!

1) Gage is almost over his crud. His antibiotic course for his ear infection is done tomorrow so that's nice. He's just a little stuffy and still has a wee cough.

2) We will start the next phase of sleep training Friday night in the hopes that the weekend will allow us more rest time to make up for nighttime fussies.

3) I got my Incredible from Verizon. It is awesome and I like it waaaaay better than either of my old Motorola Droids.

4) What's up with the elimination rules on the Biggest Loser?! No spoilers here, but if a player chooses to leave they still have to send someone home. That, to me, is crap. So this week two people left. I wasn't surprised by either one. I think Irene is going to fly under the radar and win the whole shebang. Her or Austin. I love make over week and it's next week! Yay!

5) Did you watch "the Voice?" I thought it was an interesting premise but that it would be lame. It was pretty good. I would totally get emotionally invested in it. It is nice to be able to watch TV from time to time. Since I like it I bet it'll be cancelled just when I start to enjoy it and become invested.

6) Please pray for all those affected by the horrible weather in the south. If you don't pray keep them in your thoughts. It is awful stuff going on down there. This should be number 1 but I'm posting from my phone and I don't know how to move the paragraph.

That's it, that's all, that's all there is. Hopefully I can scrape together things I like Thursday tomorrow that is actually interesting. Have a great day!

Monday, April 25, 2011

Weekend recap: since I never did an update

Saturday we tried to help some friends move, but since Brian worked 'til noon, the moving was done by the time we arrived. We did get to hang out and visit and admire their awesome new digs, though. Congrats, Alecia and Ari! I'm so glad you found the right house. And I'm super glad to call you guys friends. After that, we came home and vegged, because we were all STILL sick. The new season of Doctor Who was starting on BBC America, so we enjoyed some new Doctor. We watched Gage run around like a madman 'til he was ready for bed. At midnight. Sigh...

Sunday I planned to get up and make a white cake with lemon whipped-cream frosting to take to Easter dinner at my folks'. However, I awoke on Saturday feeling worse than I had all week, and when Brian suggested just buying dessert, I relented. We went to the store and chose a tasty cake. We came home, got Gage down for a nap, and then after he woke up, we drug our sick, worn out selves to my parents' house. We had a nice dinner, enjoyed dying eggs, and watching Gage. Then we had dessert, came home, and watched Gage run around like a madman 'til he was ready for bed. Which, since he'd napped all the way home from my parents (about 8:30-9:00), was at 2:00 AM. Oh, Lord, am I tired. Plus, by the time he fell asleep, I was too keyed up to sleep so I was up until 2:30 or 3:00... I couldn't bear to look at the clock. We all felt better today but none of us are tip top just yet.

I came to a decision on the next chapter of the sleep training. It will be hard. It will probably mean more sleep deprivation. But, heck, I'm sleep deprived as it is, so what's a little exhaustion amongst friends? Starting tomorrow night, Gage will get to BF at bedtime ONLY. We will take away the air mattress, and he can fall asleep while I rock him in his rocking chair. I will then put him in his crib. When he awakes, I will hold/rock/walk him until he relaxes, then it is back to the crib. We will continue with that until he can sleep soundly in his crib. Then we'll work on cutting out the bedtime nursing. Should be an interesting next few weeks. The final step, of course, will be teaching him to go to sleep on his own.

Verizon agreed to warranty my Droid 2 for an HTC Incredible. It came in the mail today; the battery and battery cover are due to come via Fedex tomorrow. Hopefully I'll like it better, and it'll have fewer problems than this nightmare, unreliable Droid 2. I appreciate Verizon's customer service for letting me get a different phone. I'm so fed up with the problems of the Motorola Droids! I like Android OS but I really like not having my phone lock up/black out/randomly restart.

I guess that's all I've got for now. I'll let you know how the sleep deprivation, er, training, goes.

And even though I'm a day late... HE IS RISEN!!!! We are saved by His resurrection, the triumph of life over death.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Good Friday

Still sick. Thanks to my wonderful father (in law) for bringing us dinner; it was much appreciated. Gage won't sleep and everyone is miserable.

But we are SAVED. Thank you Jesus for the sacrifice you made for us all those years ago. It's a beautiful day despite the sickness in our house.

Sure hope this baby sleeps soon and that we feel better soon. Maybe then I can go back to real posts.

Enjoy your Easter weekend and remember, it isn't all about bunnies and eggs.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Things I like Thursday: The it's so boring I'm dozing off just posting it edition

Let me preface this post by saying you probably won't find it terribly interesting. I'm sick, Gage is sick, Brian is sick. Still. Gage is on the mend, but he seems to be off eating and sleeping for the most part still. That is unfun for this sleepy momma! Anyway. The things I'm into this week are lame. But here goes anyway.

1. Sleep! I would be into that, if I could remember what it feels like. I think I kind of enjoyed it sometime in the distant past.

2. Toddler nasal aspirator. I love it, Gage hates it with a fiery, blinding passion. He does not appreciate being aspirated. But when he is sick and clogged up, it is great to suction him. The toddler aspirator I have is huge. It might just be an older baby one but it works well. It's much bigger than the one provided by the hospital.

3. Any phone other than a Motorola Droid 2. I spent a little time today begging Verizon to let us have iPhone 4s or HTC Incredibles because age/price wise, they are comparable to our current phones. I am just so over this phone and all its weird glitches. I had to talk myself down from throwing it against the wall multiple times yesterday.

4. Vtech Touch & Teach Turtle. Was a birthday gift for Gage from some of our awesome RCPM friends (the RTU). That is a fun group of friends by the way. Man, do we have memories of all of us young and dumb. RCPM = Roger Clyne & the Peacemakers and RTU = Rocky Tonk Union. Anyway, I digress. Robin and Steve got Gage this awesome toy for his first birthday. He didn't play a whole lot with it until about two months ago, when he went absolutely nuts for it. He plays with it almost constantly. It does tons of different stuff, too. It has ABCs, story part, music, animal sounds, etc. Gage loves it and so do I!

5. I don't have a fifth thing today. I am too worn out. I feel like I could sleep for week.

Hope you're enjoying your night! Next week's Things I like Thursday will hopefully be a little less insomnia curing.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Stayin' alive

That's what we're up to. We're all sick, we all still have to work (Brian is going in, motherhood and fatherhood is 24/7, and the mag newsletter is on deadline,) and it has been a trying day.

I've been trying to count my blessings today to avoid getting bogged down.

New Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers album, Unida Cantina, dropped yesterday; we got it today. It's pretty good but a 100% departure from their usual stuff. I'm enjoying it but trying to get used to such a different sound.

I guess that's really all I have for now. Sleep training, Couch to 5k... it's all on hiatus while we focus on rest and recovery. Last night Gage crashed at 8:20 pm, woke back up at 9:00 pm, and partied down til after midnight. We are ALL exhausted.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Not much

Please pray for a dear friend of mine. It's not my place to say which friend or what's going on, but please pray for her. She, and God, know who she is. I love her very much and she is going through a horrible event.

I am getting the cold that Gage got; his turned into an ear infection, mine just sucks. Seems Brian has it too. It is the household of sickness right now!

Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day... today was VERY rough.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Starting to feel like I've been awake since the second world war

A brief update, then sleep for me: Gage has an ear infection in his right ear. This morning he was still coughing, still feverish, so off to the doctor we went. He's now the proud (haha) owner of a scrip for Amoxicillan, which he'll take for 9 more days. His first ear infection, first prescription. He sure is a trooper. He's been so positive despite feeling bad, today was his first sort of fussy day. The doctor said he should start to feel better Wednesday so that's something to look forward to. And now I'm off to sleep. Ugh. Tired!

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Weekend update... the I used to function great on this much sleep edition

Gage woke up at 3:30 this morning and did not want to go back to sleep. I was half in, half out of consciousness for about an hour, not 100% processing that his little coughs didn't quite sound like when he gets milk down the wrong tube. About 4:30 am I realized that the sound of the coughs was wrong and he was pretty hot. I also realized he had no desire to go back to sleep and he was a little stuffy. And had a stinky diaper. We got up to change his diaper, and I figured I would suction him and take his temp, just to be sure he didn't have a fever. He had a low grade fever, and no desire to sleep. We ended up playing in the living room until 6:00 am, then he crashed back out. He slept until 9:00 am, and relaxed until about 9:30, then we got up.

When I took his temp a little later, it was in the high 99° range. I don't like to administer fever reducing drugs right away, unless the fever makes him uncomfortable, and he seemed largely ok. He had the occasional cough and was a little drowsy, but was mostly happy and playful. The fever is so important to the healing process, so I like to let it run its course if at all possible. Anyway, I took his temp a little later and it was up again, in the low 101s. So since it was still rising, I told him we'd check again in 30 minutes, and if it was higher, we'd administer some baby Motrin. Brian and I also noticed that he was getting weird, lethargic and clingy, which goes with a rising fever. Then... he fell asleep in my lap. When he woke from a fitful sleep 45 minutes later, we took his temp again, and it was 101.7 then 102. Definitely time for baby Motrin, and urgent care if that didn't take the temp down! After Motrin, we went in to his room and lay down, and he napped for about 1.5 hours, after which his temp was back within normal range. At least we averted an urgent care visit, and he felt good enough to pack away some eats and drink a good bit of the watered down Gatorade that we've been pushing all day.

Now we're off to bed, and his fever is spiking again, and his cough is getting worse. We've got the thermometer and baby Motrin at the ready. Poor little guy! So that was our Sunday. We had planned on going to the Museum of Nature and Science for their free day, and doing pictures. Needless to say, none of that happened... we just want our fella to feel better!

Yesterday, we pretty much just ran errands and spent time together. We drove around a little, went to Borders (a clearance one that was going out of business) where I got $37 worth of books for $8, went to Kohls, then went to another Kohls. It was a really nice day, but nothing spectacularly exciting to write about here!

Mainly I'll be sleeping lightly as I wait and see if Gage's fever spikes again. I'm pretty worried about the little boy. If he's still coughing, still feverish tomorrow, I guess we're going to have to pay a visit to the doctor's office.

Hope the end of the weekend finds you in good health! Me, I'm a little wonky. I can't believe I used to get by on this much sleep pretty frequently back in the day!

Friday, April 15, 2011

Sleeping baby and other such Friday nonsense

It is 11:39 pm... and Brian and I got to watch about an hour of a movie all by ourselves! Gage went to sleep about 10:09 pm and I was able to sneak away from him about 20 minutes later. He's changed positions a couple times on the air mattress, without cuddles and without waking up. That is a very positive, albeit small, step. So now, I will keep vigil here with him (Chevy is with us too) until he wakes up. I thought about going to bed in my own bed, but there are too many potential hazards in Gage's room for us to be comfortable knowing he could wake up alone. I'm hesitant to get into bed with him, because I'm curious as to how long he'll stay asleep alone and un-cuddled. It could be a long night for me, but he is so worth it.

After a couple weeks worth of observing Gage and his sleep behavior, I've come to a couple conclusions. The first is that he is simply not an early-to-bed kind of kid. He will not consider sleep before 8:30 pm, at the very earliest. 9:00 pm is his mostly magic bedtime, meaning he'll fall asleep BFing within 5-10 min, tops. If he is not ready for sleep, he won't even settle in to BF, so it is blatantly obvious that he isn't ready. The second notable observation is that he is most definitely functioning better, sleep-wise, with one nap, midday. If he gets one good nap (2-3 hours) around noon, he will be mostly happy the remainder of the day, and settle in comfortably for bed between 8:30 and 9:30 pm. If he gets two naps, say one from 9:00-11:00 am and another from 3:00-5:00 pm, he will not settle in for bed until closer to 11:00 pm, making everyone quite cranky.

Today was our first day of one nap, with about 4 hours between wake up and nap. It has been an up and down day, with most of the ups being on his part. He has been largely happy, active, and engaging. I just had one of those days myself that seemed like nothing went right, but those happen from time to time no matter what. Gage napped from 12:00 pm to a little after 2:00. His bedtime is late tonight, but I think there was a little bit of disconnect for him. WE were staying up, and he wanted to as well, despite being tired. He was very clingy this evening from about 8:00 pm on, and wanted to BF, then play a minute, then come right back to BFing. He would fuss when he realized that I wasn't sitting there waiting for him to BF while he played! I believe that he's developing and feeling a little bit of independence, and he isn't 100% sure he is comfortable. So I think it will be imperative for his sleeping and his psyche for me to wear him a little more over the next few weeks, as we work toward beginning the weaning process. He needs to know he can still be physically close to me, whether he is BFing or not. I also need to focus on more interactive play with him during the day. I fear he sometimes acts out in a need for interaction as soon as I step away to do dishes or pick up. I currently do a lot of observing while he plays, but maybe would be better served to be more involved with his play, not just sitting on the floor and being available, but getting into it with him.  

What a gift, this wee toddler that has been entrusted to our care. That we would be responsible for nurturing and growing and raising up this small new life, what an amazing responsibility. He is so awesome and I learn new things from Gage every day! I wish he could tell me how to help him sleep on his own.

I did some things today that were personally fulfilling, going into the weekend. I got Gage's toys seperated out into ones he likes currently and ones he just has out because he likes to see all of his stuff. I packed away the things that he rarely actively plays with, and picked up all the scattered toys that remained. I finally got Gage's bathroom unpacked; it was the last hold out of our move. It only had one small box, but every single shampoo, lotion, and wash that we have for him was on the counter. I felt really good about getting his bathroom picked up and organized as it has just been a project that's been bugging me. It was easy to overlook though, since none of us really use that bathroom except to bathe Gage. I also got dishes done and the dishwasher run; I got our catch-all kitchen countertop cleared off except for day-to-day stuff. So for at least a Friday evening, our apartment looked quite nice and put together! I always feel really good when Brian comes home from work and I have something to show for my day at home.

I'm so glad it's the weekend, and so glad it's Brian's full weekend off! And I'm sorry to report, my wait is officially over; Gage woke up and needed his momma at 12:06 am. He is settled back in, and I guess I'm off to sleep myself. Keep us in your prayers as we enter this next phase of our little fella's life... and continue on his sleep journey.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Things I like Thursday: did you guess it was gonna be about my hair? edition

1. Remington Style 1 1/2" Flat Iron with "bonus" comb. I picked this up from Target the day I got my new haircut. I wanted a better quality flat iron than my ancient Vidal Sassoon flat iron that fried and ripped out my hair. But I didn't want to spend a whole lot of money, so I was looking at the lower end. The lowest priced were $14.99, but I didn't want to go ridiculously cheap. When I saw the pink Remington style, I thought it was cute, and the price was right at $19.95. It came with a comb attachment that I figured I would throw in a drawer. And, hey, how better to pick hair styling tools than by cuteness? It proved more than just good looks the first time I used it; I even thought I would give the comb attachment a try... it really does make a huge difference! It detangles while straightening which is awesome. It was SO worth the $20! If you're in the market for a reasonably priced flat iron, I definitely recommend this one.

2. Garnier Anti-Frizz Serum (Sleek 'N Shine) It smells nice, and it slicks my hair, making it easier to comb right after a shower. Helps sleek really fine, wavy hair, like mine. I tend to shower in the evenings when Brian gets home, so I just throw a palm full of this in before I comb, let my hair dry overnight, and straighten the next day. I think it makes a big difference in the sleekness!

3. Herbal Essences Long Term Relationship Leave-In Protector. It smells soooo good. It can be used on wet or dry hair which is great since I usually straighten in the morning with dry hair. It gives a little extra shine and protection.

4. Maybelline Volum' Express the Falsies mascara. When they first advertised this, I said I would never buy because of ridiculous name and worse ad campaign. But alas, I am mascara fickle. My last mascara try was Lash Stilleto and I liked it ok but didn't love it. When I realized I was almost out, I wanted to try something different. I couldn't make up my mind and all of the newer mascaras on the market were around $10. I was feeling cheap and just didn't want to pay $10 for a new little tube of mascara. I was on the verge of leaving without choosing a mascara, and scraping the sides of the Lash Stilleto for another week, when I saw that "Falsies" was on sale for under $6. After a few moments internal debate, I decided to give it a try. I like it pretty well, I would say! Would I buy it again next time I need mascara? Maybe... but that's going a bit far. By then I'll probably want to try something new. But for now, I quite like the Falsies, despite the ridiculous name and horrendous ad campaign.

5. Chapstick. Basic Chapstick, original flavor. I am allergic/sensitive to nearly all lip things. Most every lip gloss, lip stick, or lip stain cause my lips to peel. I have had success with a couple of stains, but who wants to wear a lip stain every day? Even those stains that work for me cause issues with extended use. I can't use most girly lip balms because they, too, cause the dreaded peeling. Heck, even different flavors of Chapstick irritate my lips. But not original Chapstick in the plain, black tube. It works great, and actually brings out the natural color in my lips. Weird, but true. Hey, I live at a mile high, what can I say? You don't run around with naked lips at this altitude.

6. (You get 6 things today, lucky you!) Up and Up (Target brand) Zyrtec. Have I told you before how much I love Up and Up, Target's generic? I know I have, but maybe you're new here. Target's generic rocks. Anyway, Up and Up's version of Zyrtec has an identical blend of ingredients as far as I could tell, and works GREAT-for a fraction of the Zyrtec cost. And as someone who SUFFERS from spring allergies, this is wonderful. It is so nice to have at least a little relief from spring allergies... without going into debt to do it.

There you go! Now maybe I can get my little guy to sleep. Seems if he manages two naps in a day, he doesn't go to bed at night. But that's a post for another day. As with all Things I like Thursday, standard bloggy disclaimers apply; I'm not being compensated in any way for my opinions on any of these items, and my endoresement of these items is my own opinion. All that fun stuff said, hooray, tomorrow's Friday!

I'm always screaming my lungs out till my head starts spinning

A Day to Remember. It was cloudy all day today with a persistent, slow drizzle off and on. Sometimes when it is like this it makes me sad. I really love the rain, but not icy drizzle running down my back. When we walked Chevy this evening it was ACTUALLY raining and Gage didn't enjoy himself. It was a short walk because Brian and I weren't enjoying seeing Gage cold and wet. Now I can hear the rain hitting the window, and I really enjoy that! It doesn't rain here much. Lots of snow, lots of sun, not much rain.

It was a nice day today though, despite the grey skies. Gage had a great morning nap, then we had lunch with my super cool sister-in-law, Cara, at the Egg & I. We had a fun time, and Gage flirted shamelessly with everyone who walked by, talked to us, or even sat nearby. One of the waitresses came by and said she had to get a better look because he was, "seriously, the cutest baby she'd ever seen." It is his smile that makes people love him. He looks friendly and happy all the time! Well, and he is cute too. But I'm a little biased in that department. I pray he stays this friendly and outgoing!

Afterward, we came home and played; I tried to get Gage to nap again but he wasn't having it. He was happy though, so it was no big. Except that a lot of time was spent, trying four seperate times to get him down. I had planned on chicken leftovers tonight and a white wine/cheese risotto, so there was no need to get a super early start on dinner. It was just a nice, relaxing afternoon which segued into a nice, relaxing evening. I ended up making a peanut butter cup pudding pie which was pretty good, although the consistency was a bit weird since it didn't have time to set before we ate some. I look forward to trying it again tomorrow as the flavors were great.

I have a pretty good (I think) Things I like Thursday in mind for tomorrow. I've been a little uninspired recently, but I've got lots of things to tell you about tomorrow.

Can I tell you about my hair? I mentioned my terrific cut that I got at Rebel Salon, but I didn't tell you about how it held up. You know when you get a haircut and you love it for the first day, but as soon as you wash it, you discover that you'll never again get it to look like it did when you left the salon? Yeah, that's never happened to me either. But if it had, it would've happened every single time I've gotten anything more than a trim for about... oh, the last seven years. I don't know if it's because of the weight I gained (all hair looks good over an oval face, round faces take more consideration), or just getting older, but I morphed into one of those, "uuuungggnngh, I hate my hair," ladies... the ones who complain the day after their new cut.

I'm a wash and wear kind of girl. I've never liked styling my hair. I think it is because it's SO thick and wavy that it takes a short eternity to blow dry/curl/straighten/hot roll it, I just don't want to waste the time. I love how it looks done, but let's face it, I have never wanted to put forth an hour just to do my hair. Imagine my delight when Baylee told me my new haircut would look just as good dried naturally as it did straightened. Still, I wanted to get a new straightener, since she thinned it and it looked awesome straightened. I thought maybe I could straighten it now and then for a good look since it looked great super straight, but most days just let it dry on its own.

When I washed my hair, I was so excited to see how nice it would look air dried. So I let it air dry. Oh, wow. She underestimated the wave factor! With it thinned, my hair had become much lighter, so it had tons of body (a great thing). And it was SUPER wavy. I looked like a puffy, clipped poodle (not a great thing). The following morning, I decided I would give straightening a try. I felt so sad that my lack of hair skills would probably mean I wouldn't be able to do a good job straightening, and I would have to live with my puffy poodle look. But when I got done, my hair looked ALMOST just like it did after the cut! I was able to do it entirely myself! And in only about 10-15 minutes. Now THAT is a style I can live with, and love.

The moral of the hair story is that I guess I finally have adult hair. 29 years on this planet, and I actually "do" my hair. In a weird kind of way, I feel happy and satisfied, like I have actually found a hair style to enjoy and wear, as opposed to constantly trying something new, trying to find that one style that would look great despite my lack of desire to do anything with it. I feel like I've arrived. I can actually manage my hair with a straight iron in way less than an hour and that makes me happy. I look put together, and not like I just hopped out of the shower and started my day. Thanks, Baylee! You rock, and Rebel Salon rocks. I had no idea that new hair would change my view of myself (from a vanity standpoint, anyway.) Very cool. 

I had this hair epipheny this morning while getting ready, and I thought I would share it with you. How enlightening (maybe not?) But what better to talk about on a rainy, dreary night than hair?

How about technology? Cause you know I love it (I can't say I love technology without thinking of Kip of Napolean Dynamite) and I find it fascinating. You've probably read about my many issues with my Droid 2. It's a really great phone... if you don't want to run many apps. As soon as I get some apps on it, it gets bogged, freezes, runs slow, etc. My favorite part of this is it seems to be GOOGLE'S apps that cause the most issues. A lot of people love Android, and I used to be one of them. So did Brian. But can I tell you, we're considering iPhones?! I kind of want to wait and see if iPhone 5 comes out in June/July cause I would hate to switch now then have something new out in a couple months. Sigh. I just want a reliable device. To give you an idea, I actually told Brian about a month ago that I was considering buying a PayGo phone to have at the house, in case I needed a working phone and my Droid wasn't working/frozen/blacked out. It is a very real fear. I can also tell you this is somewhere around my 7th-9th Moto Droid. Never abused or dropped. Just not reliable. Ah, Android. Had such high hopes for you. Just to turn tail and possibly run back to Steve Jobs.

Off to sleep now. And dream the dream of a phone that doesn't need restarted every couple hours to clear away the cog webs. 

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Nap refuser, Wal-mart, and a tasty chicken dinner

I had a nap refuser today. You know the nap refuser, the baby/toddler/kid that is flat out exhausted but refuses the nap no matter what you try. It took two hours to get him down, and by the time he crashed, I knew it would be too late upon his waking for an afternoon nap. So we made the best of it. He slept 2.5 hours and may have tried and failed at falling back asleep.

We needed to hit up Wal-mart for some meats and a few odds and ends. It was a hard trip for me for some reason. My anxiety levels were through the roof, despite Wal-mart not being super busy, and I couldn't concentrate to save my life. I paid really close attention to Gage, which mostly got me through it. If I focus on him I can get by in crowds or anxiety inducing circumstances. It took me almost 15 minutes in the meat department to choose meats for the rest of the week and weekend. I haven't had that happen for a while. But it was alright, the important thing is that we made it through and got what we needed. Gage got a new green ball that he really loves. He played with it off and on all evening!

When we finished at Wal-mart, we had to go to 24 Hour Fitness to cancel my membership. They offered me a 6-month freeze when I told them my reason for cancelling (the Kids Club makes me nervous for my little guy, who doesn't talk yet, is very attached to me, and is easily knocked down as a newish walker.) Because of that, I have little-to-no time to go, unless I go the second Brian walks in the door from work, then we have a quick late dinner, then bed. No thanks on that; I would hardly ever see my husband. I treasure the relaxed, happy evenings with Brian and Gage too much. So I took them up on the 6-month freeze. By the time six months has passed, hopefully the Kids Club will seem more attractive us. And maybe Gage would enjoy it. Hey, if it doesn't work out that way, I can always cancel in October.

Then we came home, so I could start dinner. I was making breaded, baked chicken breasts (which were delicious.) Gage wanted to play ball, so he would throw it over the baby gate into the kitchen and I would throw it back out. When Brian came home, he took over the ball-playing, which sped the cooking process for me. We ate, took Chevy for a little walk, and settled in for the Biggest Loser.

It was a good one this week, with the contestants being in New Zealand. I won't give you any spoilers, but there were some tears shed at the elimination. The eliminated player is rockin' it at home and had already revisited New Zealand. Is it just me, or do you wonder if NBC has to pay the players something while they're on the show?! How many people could just up and leave their households without one income for who-knows-how-long? There has to be something going to the families of the players, monetarily. Something tonight really bothered me, too. Moses was talking about his dad having gone to New Zealand as a kid to get an education. He was saying how proud his dad would be to know Moses was there. So Bob whips out his cell phone and tells Moses it is breaking the rules, but he can call his dad and let him know he is in NZ. Ok, seriously? They took a THIRTEEN hour flight to another country, and these guys' families don't even know their loved ones are out of the country? That is awful to me. What if their plane crashed, can you imagine? I can't. I still enjoy the Biggest Loser, don't get me wrong. I'm just sayin'.

If you don't watch the Biggest Loser, sorry about that ramble. If you watch any reality show with a big cash payout to the winner at the end, you still must wonder about the paycheck thing though. Seriously, could you afford to leave your family without your income for a non-determined amount of time, on the gamble that you MIGHT win a big prize? I know I couldn't.

Anyway, after Biggest Loser, Gage ate a snack and we all went to bed! Now just Chevy and I are awake. But I heard her crash out in the living room, so maybe it is time for me to do the same. Just not in the living room. Fortunately, my nap refuser did not turn into a bedtime refuser. He crashed about 5 minutes after bedtime.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Just a little post to pass the time

We had a really nice day today. We slept in a little because Gage stayed up a bit late last night. He ate breakfast, took a nap, and then we were off to lunch with Brian's dad. We all had a blast and Gage ate all of his beans, some rice, most of a quesadilla, and half of a sopapilla! Hungry growing boy.

He napped in the car on the way home for approximately 10 minutes, but after that he refused all naps at home. By the time Brian got home,  Gage was full of cranky, bellowing energy! Brian suggested we all walk to the park, and we did. It was quite a fun time; Gage got to swing and go down the slide, Chevy got to wander around and bark a lot. I got some good pictures of Gage on the playground too.

Speaking of pictures, this upcoming Sunday we're scheduled to do photos with Ben Ricard. We're looking to do some outdoors, family-type pics. I'm REALLY looking forward to it. I know we'll get some good ones!

I'm still trying to figure out our next step with sleep training. Guess I'm going to have to sleep in a turtleneck in order to wean Gage from night feeding. I know somewhere in this we're making progress, I just don't know how to proceed. It is really difficult! Never, never, never start co-sleeping. Take my advice. The biggest hurdle is his dependence on me for everything sleep. And that will be the hardest to break. But he is just gonna have to learn to fall asleep without BFing or cuddling all night long. He wakes up the second I lay him in his crib. We'll just keep pluggin' away!

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Weekend update: the weekend is almost over edition

This has been a crazy, yet fun, weekend. We didn't do a whole lot of sitting around! It wasn't anything ridiculously exciting, but we got a few things done and spent a lot of time running around.

On Saturday Brian had to work, but only a half day. Gage and I got up, had breakfast, and then went for a run with a walk at the end. All-in-all, we got in about 2.5 miles. The weather was gorgeous, and it only started to get windy at the end. When we got home, it was almost time for Brian to get home, but I did some dishes and some laundry before he arrived. Then, we drove down to the Castle Rock factory outlets. That was a huge mistake; it seriously tried both of our patience. Starting our excursion at the food court, we stood in line at Subway for quite some time as the guy in front of us had an indecisive child. More than once, a little boy not much older than Gage, pushing an umbrella stroller, nearly plowed into us. We finally got our sandwiches and sat down. The little boy with the stroller continued to run it all over the food court while his family, oblivious to the commotion and potential kidnapping risk, ate their food. When they were leaving, the boy pitched a huge, screaming fit at being put IN the stroller.

At the Under Armour store, there were no amazing deals as we had hoped there would be. At the Adidas store, there were not only no amazing deals, but few things we would've even been interested in purchasing. We went to Gymboree; they had a huge sign out front that said, "70% off most items!" Upon entering the store, we discovered that the whole store contained the not-so-faint odor of poo. Another toddler, who's mom was trying stuff on her in the middle of the store, stood shoeless and shrieking. Then we saw the signs that said, "BUY ONE GET ONE 70% OFF." Ugh. Not worth the shrieking and poo smell. I'm sorry, but if I have to buy one at full price to get 70% off another item, that doesn't count as "70% off."

We went to Fanzz, and there was a lady having a loud argument with two guys. As she yelled, she was clapping her hands. We honestly wondered if they were going to come to blows. They were arguing about sports teams. She even shouted that she was, "BORN AND RAISED RIGHT HERE IN COLORADO! But still hates the Broncos!!!!!" At that point, we gave up, went back to the car, and high-tailed it out of there. Believe me when I say the Factory Outlets aren't what they used to be. We decided to drive by our old house and then out to Castlewood Canyon. We did both, then took the (sort of) back way home. It was very nice. Both of us felt like pizza and relaxing at dinner time, so we did some carry out Anthony's, which was delicious.

We had a crazy idea we wanted to try with Gage. We wondered if we just let him play until he was exhausted, would he eventually just go crawl into bed? After many cranky hours, we realized the answer was no. Play it out... another failed sleep tactic. Sometimes this whole sleep thing really gets me down and I wonder if we are better off to give him a few more months of sleeping with us and see if he'll get sick of it on his own. But then I wonder if that's my own selfishness speaking... it is saying, "get me off this air mattress!" My selfishness misses the comfort of the memory foam. And my husband.

Today we went to breakfast; we first tried The Egg & I but they were packed, so we went to IHOP. That was our second mistake of the weekend for our patience. We got seated next to a young couple, the female half of which was probably the single most irritating human being on the planet. Y'all, I try to be tolerant, and I try to be a good, non-judgemental Christian. And judging IS a weakness of mine. It is something I pray about almost daily. But this girl... oh my goodness. I can't even put into words her voice, behavior, topics of conversation, etc. It was outrageous. Her obnoxious ways cast a pall over our meal and we ate with a quickness! I know it is wrong to judge, but I am only human, after all. Trust me when I say she'd have tried a saint's patience.

But then, we saw something astounding. You know when a store is going out of business, and they hire the folks to stand on the corners with the signs? Usually the poor sign holders look bored out of their minds. But not the guy we saw today! He was holding his sign, jumping up and down, dancing, really getting into it. Talk about doing your job with a joyful heart. He was one happy dude. I loved seeing him holding his sign while he jumped and danced. We came home and gave Gage a little play time and a little nap, then headed out to look for bikes.

It was too late to go to any actual cycling stores, so we went to Dick's Sporting Goods. Found a couple with potential, but we'll see. We'd really like to start riding with Gage. We also went to Walmart and picked up a few things.

We came home, had an exciting dinner of leftovers, played with Gage a bit, and then it was off to bed. As it is now, I think all of my little family is fast asleep but me! And I'm not too far behind.

Hope you had a lovely weekend! I wouldn't have traded mine with my fellas for the world.

Friday, April 8, 2011

As if you didn't already have enough to read of my writing

I think the way this is going to end up looking like I posted three times in one day, which makes me look like 1) a very prolific blogger, 2) someone who has absolutely no life, or 3) an oversharing weirdo. The reality is that I'll probably just change the time stamp so that this post shows posted today. But yesterday... woo! You got two posts in one day. Fancy!

I've been sticking to Couch to 5k. It is way too early for me to give up though; I'm not asking for props or anything, just sayin'. Gage and I ran to the grocery store Weds morning; I wanted to make stew but needed a couple things, so that was fun. Definitely a little weird to be in King Soopers with Gage's big ol' jogger, complete with weather shield, me in running pants and fleece, Red Sox hat, and sweaty, but no big deal. From our apartment to KS is a little over a mile, although it was farther going home. How is that possible? We had to double back for a sock that Gage threw out of the stroller. The sock lay in the parking lot where we'd crossed; mercifully it didn't appear to have been run over. It was, of course, the left sock. He had already removed his left shoe in King Soopers, and refused to let me put it back on.

We got home, put all of the stew makings in the crock pot, and resumed our day, amidst the delicious smells of cooking. That is my favorite part of crock pot cooking! It was delicious, a basic beef stew, but with a bit of bacon thrown in for a little extra flavor. Gage hated it, but he hates all of my cooking right now. More on that later.

Yesterday we set out for Park Meadows mall. I needed to get the Invisible Shield screen protector replaced on my phone and I needed to warranty my Skullcandy Chops headphones, and Skullcandy has (had) a kiosk in PM mall. So we parked, walked in, and headed to Invisible Shield. The guy told me they're out of screen protectors for Droid 2s, but I can order one and put it on myself. Really? Cause I wanted it today, and I really didn't want to put it on myself, hence my trip to the mall, to HAVE IT DONE. He was very rude, and had no idea when they'd even be getting more in. Y'all, I'm usually polite, but bad customer service does me in. This is the second or third time they haven't had stock. I told him I'd take my business elsewhere. He didn't care, so I did. I ordered screen protectors from my friend, the eBay.

Next stop, Skullcandy (Skull Candy?) I went to where I thought their kiosk was and it was not there. But, you know, kiosks... they're mobile. So I asked customer service, who informed me that they closed down about three weeks ago! Sad, sad me. See, I really hate malls. If I could never go, it'd be great. It tweaks my social anxieties to walk the malls, especially ones with loads of kiosks, which PM has. I can't stand the sales folk jumping out at you, trying to put lotion on you, curl/straighten your hair, clean your rings, or sell you cell phone service. It FREAKS me out. I did fairly well avoiding everyone except the guy who wanted to clean my ring for $.30 (I wasn't even wearing my engagement ring, just my plain Tungsten Carbide band) and a weird French lady at a lotion kiosk. She jumped out at me and tried to slather me with lotion. I told her no thank you. Then she asked if I always "wear" my nails natural. I told her yes, and she started to go on about how she had a product she just HAD to show me. I told her I was in a hurry and practically ran away. I don't know how those guys do that job. I could never approach every person walking by in a mall. I get cranky when I go to the mall and then can't get EITHER thing I'm there for. Not my morning. Fortunately, we followed the mall excursion with a trip to my friend Andria's house. My kid and her kids have a blast together, and Andria is fun to hang with. Better than Park Meadows any day.

We stopped by Target on our way home, and I finally remembered Zyrtec. This is only my fourth visit to a store that sells Zyrtec since I decided to try it. I could not seem to remember to pick it up, but Brian reminded me yesterday. I also got Gage almost outfitted for summer, with swim trunks, a rash guard, sun hat, and sunscreen. He'll just need some water wings or something. I gave him three swim trunk options, and let him choose. He picked a pair with tropical fish all over. There were only two rash guard options, and one was baby blue. So we went with our only real option, which was black and gray. But I bet if you like baby blue on your boy, it looks terrific on him. Love the rash guards. So much better than leaving his whole torso exposed to the sun, even under sunscreen. He's very fair, like his momma. I am upping my sunscreen game too, by which I mean I'll put some on. I need to be a better example. And avoid melanoma, too.

I got Gage some Gerber raviolis for easy eats for him, since he hasn't liked my cooking recently, even when it is delicious. Wouldn't you know, that little goon CHOWED those junky Gerber raviolis. Sigh. Guess he'll be eating more of them for now... because at least he is eating something. He didn't start out this picky! When I was pregnant, I had these visions of always feeding him what we were eating, and him liking everything homecooked. Homecooked worked when he was little, I made all of his baby mushes myself and painstaking froze them in ice cube trays. We travelled with a lunch-sized cooler packed with cubes of baby food and ice. He ate EVERYTHING I made him, even avocado and squash. Now, though, it seems if it's not packed with preservatives and mass produced, he doesn't want it. And I can't just not feed him... I feel like we're on a slippery slope. But at least we aren't throwing him a handful of MickyD's fries and telling him to enjoy. Although maybe he'd prefer that.

I planned on making turkey penne tonight, but it turned out that my ground turkey was rancid (fun!) I made it with ground beef instead. I overcooked my penne by turning off the wrong burner, making this the third time I've done that in this apartment. I had drained the penne already, so some was weirdly crunchy. Apparently the pictures of the stove tops with red dots showing which burner each control matches are too hard for me?! It was ok, but reminded me of why I don't like lasagne. I don't like crunchy pasta.

Sleep training is going sort of well. Gage knows that his room is his room, and he knows where he sleeps. He doesn't understand that he needs to BF less at night, so I think I'm basically going to have to wean him. Which I have no idea how to do. Any weaning suggestions? He is 16 months old and I think he's BFed for a plenty long time. I'm just worried he'll feel unloved and neglected with weaning, because I don't know what I'm doing in that department. I know how to BF; I do not know how to stop.

Hopefully this Friday morning finds you well. At least it's Friday! Enjoy your weekends, everybody.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Things I like Thursday: Redone Edition

Last night's post turned out to be a monumental mess, and outrageously tedious to read. And that was just my opinion, so maybe I'm lucky and no one read it. That's what I get for posting when I'm in the throes of insomnia! In any case, I cut out all the rest, and will leave this succinct post for Things I like Thursday. All the of the rest of the garbage will form its very own post.

So with no further ado (or at least a little less ado), a few things I like:

1) My Brooks running shoes. They seriously rock, my feet don't ache while running, and I haven't had shin splint #1. Which is saying a lot, because I regularly get shin splints. I am so thankful to Boulder Running Company for their helpful staff that talked me into starting with more supportive shoes!

2) Jeep Jogging Stroller weather shield. It allows me to run with Gage in chilly temps, wind, rain, etc. This means I don't get to use, "but Gage would've been miserable" as an excuse not to run. This is a very good thing! It is huge, and it creates a very definite wind resistance, but that's ok. Gage seems cozy in it and that's the important thing. It is really nice to go out in the wind and not hear him sucking great huge gasps of air, or thinking, "Well, I would go running today, but it is windy and Gage sure hates the wind. Guess I'll sit on the couch and eat more food." Not that that has ever happened or anything.

3) Nuby Straw cups. They are like Gage's Camelbak water bottles, only about $11 cheaper. Not quite as cool, but man is the price right. He has quite a few, and loves to run around drinking out of them. I've read that straw cups are better for kids his age than sippies because they help the mouth form right, or something. In any case, Gage knew all along, because he's never liked or understood sippies.

4) Skullcandy headphones and their lifetime warranty. I need to warranty my Chops because a piece of the earphone fell off. It's a fairly non-essential piece, but it makes wearing them a heck of a lot more comfortable. I know there won't be a problem because Skullcandy (Skull Candy?) offers lifetime warranty. But since the kiosk in Park Meadows mall closed down, I have no choice but to mail them in for replacement. I'm not a fan of mail-in warranties. They take forever, and usually they're a hassle. I'm glad I have my Asyms and three other pairs of Skullcandy headphones in the meantime, haha. I really do like their products. Obviously. I liked the Chops best for running though, so I will miss them.

5) Under Armour and their online outlet store. Maybe you thought I'd gotten over my Under Armour obsession? Well, maybe you'd be wrong. I just haven't been in need of gear for a bit, but now that summer is approaching, I'll be looking for cool outdoor running-wear. And Under Armour is simply the best I've found; I loooove it. And Brian does too. We are UA dorks. If you're interested in the online outlet stuff, buy it when you see it because it sells out fast. Their stuff just simply doesn't go on sale for much off in the store. But their clothing is made for performance not just looks, which is huge to me. It looks cool, sure. But it also really performs as advertised. Go check them out!

That's what I'm into this week! Hope you're all enjoying your day.

March 29, 2010

I meant to make this post ON March 29 of this year, but there has been so much other stuff going on, I failed to even mark that date. So I will, today. March 29 of last year was a special day, but not in a make-you-feel-good special kind of way.

I had made a vet appointment for our sweet white Husky, Koda. He had been on prednisone (an oral steroid) for about a year and a half, if I remember correctly. When we moved into our house, we discovered the unpleasant truth that fleas can live in sand. Both Koda and Chevy were soon itching like crazy, but Koda already had something working against his coat. If you're unfamiliar with how prednisone attacks our furry friends, just know this-when they lose fur, it doesn't grow back. This is news to us humans, for whom prednisone often brings about extra, unwanted hair. So when Koda would scratch excessively from the itchy flea bites, he'd scratch out fur that would never grow back. We tried so many different flea treatments, but nothing seemed to work. He got itchier, patchier, and eventually scabbier.

Koda was on prednisone for what the vet was fairly sure was inflammatory bowel disease. I'll spare you the gory details of our ups and downs with it, but it was a messy ordeal, and he was very, very sick a few times, so much so that he required hospitalization. He hated being away from us, so being stuck at the vet's office was its own special torture to him, besides being miserable and sick. Brian can correct me if I'm wrong on the exact number, but I believe at one point, Koda weighed only 19 lbs. He was a decent sized, medium Husky, so you can imagine that was thin. In the early days of his sickness, he was put on a single protein duck diet. He wouldn't eat the duck food, so we ended up feeding him cooked duck for a little while. Seriously, we went to Whole Foods and would buy him a whole duck, boil it, skin it, and feed him the meat. Trust me when I say he would eat that!

We tried many single protein diets over the course of Koda's illness. Duck, venison, fish... we tried everything that didn't have grains, or meat byproducts. Every time we would think one was working, he would get sick again, or we would go for one of his many checkups and find that again, his albumin proteins had plummeted. We wondered again and again about the causes of his sickness; we even wondered if our townhome had mold. So when we moved into our brand new house, and he seemed to be feeling much better, we started trying to wean him off the prednisone. He'd also been on metronidisal (sp) for quite some time, but that doesn't have nearly the side effects that long-term steroid usage does. We had gotten him weaned WAY down on the pred, and he seemed to be doing awesome. So much so that I made an appointment in mid-March for a few weeks out on March 29, for him to be checked out and to talk to the vet about pulling him off the pred altogether.

March 29 was a Monday, and on Sunday, March 28 we noticed that Koda was not himself. He was lethargic and seemed sad; he wouldn't eat nor play with Chevy. He'd barely drag himself out to the back yard. Trying to distract ourselves from the conversation we both knew we needed to have, Brian and I popped in 2012 with John Cusack, the movie we had on hand from Netflix at the time. Not even a quarter of the way through the movie, we both confessed that we couldn't concentrate, that our minds and hearts were heavy with worry for our little guy.

We talked it through, and decided that if his albumin had plummeted again, or that he'd need more tests, we would not want to put him through any more. We had spent thousand of dollars over the duration of his illness, and he'd been miserably sick more times than I could count. We realized we were at the point where subjecting him to scopes, biopsies, and further hospital stays were more than we could put him through. Koda was a good, GOOD dog. He didn't deserve any more suffering. We hoped that maybe all of our worry would be fruitless, that the vet would find nothing wrong, and that he was just having a down day.

The morning of March 29 was a rushed one. I had to get myself and Gage ready, and figure out how to get Gage's bucket carrier to the car with the dog. I got Gage all loaded up, clipped Koda's leash to his collar, and patted my leg and called for him to come with me. He just lay there and looked at me. He didn't even raise his head. Panicking a little, and with dread in my heart, I set Gage's bucket down, picked up Koda, and carried him to the car in the garage.* He wouldn't even get comfortable on the floor of the front seat, and putting him on the seat was out of the question. I ran back in and got Gage, safely secured into his bucket carrier. On my way to the vet, I called Brian, frantically telling him that he'd need to meet me at the vet. Fortunately, it was almost his lunch time, and he could get away. When we arrived at the vet, Brian was just leaving his work, which was only about 5 minutes away. He pulled up, and while I got Gage out, Brian wrangled Koda out with some difficulty.

One of the vet techs witnessed our struggles, and came running out. Everyone at the vet hospital knew, and loved, Koda. He just had such a sweet, gentle personality. Anyways, she ran over to us, also panicking, shouting questions, "HOW LONG HAS HE BEEN LIKE THIS?! WHAT HAPPPENED?! HE IS TOO PALE, WE WILL HAVE TO RESUSCITATE! DO YOU WANT US TO RESUSCITATE?!" We were doing our best to answer her rapid fire questions as she took Koda's limp body from Brian. "Only like this since this morning. Nothing happened. Yes, resuscitate." Thinking things more like, "Should we even resuscitate?! What the heck happened to our Koda?! Is it an easy fix? And how do you look at a white dog and know he is pale?" Turns out she could see his gums, and they were very pale. I know that question seems a little humourous now, but it sure didn't then.

Anyway, she rushed him to the back, and we did our best to stay calm and entertain Gage, who was 3.5 months old at the time. We anxiously awaited news of what was going on with our little fur guy. When the vet tech finally came out, she told us they hadn't needed to resuscitate after all, but they did have to stabilize him. She said they were running tests to find out what happened, and the vet would be out to talk to us soon. Before too long, another vet assistant came out and took us to a room. Then the vet, Dr. Strasser, came in and explained that Koda was in total liver failure. There weren't too many options left for him. We had already made the decision the night before, but we wanted to know if she thought it was the right thing to do, so we asked Dr. Strasser. She told us she couldn't advise, but that we had really done a lot, everything we could for Koda, and that they knew the decision to end his life was one we'd be justified and right in making, should we choose that route. We told her we didn't want him to suffer anymore. We asked if they could hold him for a little while, as we wanted to get Gage out of there. While he was too young to remember, I didn't want him around so much negative emotion. We also wanted to pick up Chevy, hoping that if she was there as Koda passed, she would understand that her friend was not coming home.

My really good friend, Nicole, agreed to keep Gage for us while we went to be with Koda. She met us at our house, and we turned Gage over to her, picked up Chevy, and rushed back to the vet. By the time we arrived back, they'd already begun the euthanasia process, which broke my heart and made me angry. Then they explained that Koda had started having terrible seizures, and they didn't want him to suffer. They brought him into the room with us, unconscious. I lay on the floor with him for... well, I don't even know how long. I buried my face in his fur and told him how much I loved him, how I'd miss him, how he was my fur pal, and I would never forget his sweetness. I told him I loved every minute I had with him and that he was the Husky that forever changed my opinion of Huskies. Brian said his goodbyes, and we hope Chevy said hers. Then, they administered the final injection into his IV port, and just like that, he was gone.

We paid, we went home, and we grieved him. Chevy always looked for him, sometimes I think she still does. I don't know that there was any closure for her that day. I think she still misses him, her best friend, her adoptive brother. I know I still miss him, every day. I think of how good he would have been with Gage, how he'd have just loved Koda's gentle sweetness. Gage won't have any memories of Koda, but we'll make sure to tell Gage about him. Koda was such a good, gentle guy. We did our absolute best to save him, to heal him, but in the end it just wasn't enough. He was just a few months passed 7 years old; he hadn't lived nearly long enough to die. But I still believe, even though I played the "what if" game in the weeks following, that we did the right thing.

Because the true measure of love for our pets comes down to making the right decisions for them, not the right decisions for us. We miss him, but we also know he isn't suffering anymore. And I know someday, I'll cross the Rainbow Bridge, and Koda will be there waiting for me.

I also know that I remember next to nothing about 2012. I imagine it was a good movie. But I never, never want to see it again. 

*Don't hold my leaving Gage alone against me. He was strapped into his bucket carrier, and safe. And how else could I have gotten a non-responsive dog into the car?

Please note, if you read all of that-I'll be back tomorrow with more of what you're used to from this blog. I just felt the need to get that out there. I have some fun updates from this week that I'll give you tomorrow that are more on the upbeat side!

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Some running stuff... or my motivation has returned!

So today is the first day of the rest of my (fitness) life. I now have everything I need to successfully get going on my Couch to 5k plan. I know how to watch my form to avoid heel strikes. I've got a weather sheild for Gage's worn, crappy jogger so that I can run with him in all kinds of weather, even wind. I've got my shiny new Brooks running shoes, chosen with assistance from a runner at Boulder Running Company. I've got my music playlist built, and the Couch to 5k app loaded and ready to go. AND, most importantly, I've got my motivation to really do this. Not for the numbers on the scale, but for fitness, for health, and for Gage. I want him to be able to do fun things with us, healthy thing, like hiking and biking. I want him to grow up enjoying all the beautiful things that colorful Colorado has to offer. I don't want him glued to the couch and TV, waiting for the next show to come on!

I have goals. I'm working toward running the Promise for Preeclampsia 5K in Denver City Park on June 26. It will be my first ever for this kind of event; I've never even been to a race like that. I have a few other 5ks I want to run after that one, but that will be my first. Preeclampsia is a cause near and dear to my heart. I was overweight going into my pregnany, and I didn't watch what I ate, using pregnancy as an excuse to gain 35 MORE pounds. As I progressed in my pregnancy, my blood pressure was through the roof, and each visit to the doctor's office made me fear that they would find my blood pressure high enough they'd need to induce early, or worse, get Gage out via emergency c-section. I was monitoring my own blood pressure every few hours as well.

At my last appointment before my due date, I had trace amounts of protein in my urine, and extraordinarily high blood pressure. They told me to go straight to the hospital, that there was a 60-75% chance that the hospital would want to induce that night. Brian left work, came home, and we headed to the hospital, saddened that we had been robbed of a, "Honey. It's TIME!!!" moment. At the hospital, my vitals were normal, the blood pressure was down, Gage's heartbeat was strong and true, and there was no more protein in my urine. We dodged the bullet that night, but when I went one day OVER my due date, and my blood pressure was REALLY high, the doctors quit messing around. They told me I needed to proceed to the hospital as soon as Brian could get me there, and I would definitely be induced that day. As many know (and Gage's birth would be another post on its own) my labor lasted 27.5 hours after the induction. I will always wonder if I'd been in better physical shape if things would've gone more smoothly. I am committed to getting into better shape before we decide to have another baby, God willing.

Preeclampsia is a scary, scary thing. So far the only cure is to remove the baby, whether you're early in your pregnancy or late. Some women can combat preeclampsia with bed rest, but that's not an optimal solition, nor does it "cure" the preeclampsia. Rather, it buys the mom more time with baby inside. I will proudly run for preeclampsia awareness. Knowing the warning signs could save your life! While I was fortunate to dodge ever having a full on diagnosis of preeclampsia, it was a very real fear through MOST of my pregnancy. And don't get me wrong-I am DEFINITELY not saying that normal weight women don't face preeclampsia because that would just not be true. But being overweight makes the risk that much greater that you'll face preeclampsia.

In the slightly shorter term, I will reward us with a new jogger if I keep up C25k for two straight months. So I have my short term goal, and my more long term goals. I'm training toward a goal, a few goals, when you consider that there are a couple more 5ks this year I'd love to run after the one June 26. My really long term goal is to run the BolderBoulder 10k next year. Now THAT is something to look forward to!

I've got everything I need to succeed. There are no more excuses, no more reasons to plant my butt on the couch and just wait 'til tomorrow. Tomorrow is here, today, and it is time to get started. While "today is the first day of the rest of my life" is a tired, overworn cliche, there has never been a time that it is truer for me than right now. Except for maybe the day Gage was actually born, because, ya know, having a baby changes everything. (Intentional cliche usage there.)

Monday, April 4, 2011

Oh, wow...

It is 2:38 AM. I have not slept a wink. Welcome back, insomnia-with-a-vengeance, my old nemesis. Tomorrow is gonna be a rough day.

Also, note to self: avoid Tokyo Joe's peanut sauce! 1) it is way less good for you than their teriyaki, which is also delicious. 2) it makes you itch like a mofo, moron! I don't have it very often, because it's higher cal and because it makes me itch. So time goes by, and I forget how much it makes me itch. Then, in a while, I have it again and ... it makes me itch. It's a vicious cycle. No, it is an itchious cycle. Oh, that is so wrong. I must be tired! In case you're curious, I do not have a peanut allergy. If I did I would probably remember to not eat the peanut sauce. I also would probably love peanut butter less than I do, what with the hives and imminent death and all. Ok, it is 3:01 AM now. I'm gonna make a valiant effort at a couple hours of shut eye.

And when that doesn't work, I'll wonder what on earth possessed me to just type, "a couple hours of SHUT EYE." I never say crap like that.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Weekend update (the late late version)

It has been a pretty terrific weekend, despite Friday's rockiness. I know, nothing terrible happened, it was just... one of THOSE days.

Saturday was a busy day, but in a good way. We got up, played with Gage, and then he napped. Then, we trekked downtown to Rebel Salon so I could get a haircut. Rebel is the salon of Brian's cousin's fiancè, Baylee. She did SUCH an awesome job on my hair, I can't even tell you. It may just be the best haircut I have had in my adult life. I look soooo much better, all the frump is gone. And the poof. After that, we ate at Pat's with Alecia and her husband. It was fun and delicious! We then went to American Furniture with them, and I started looking forward to replacing our couches with something a little more dog and baby proof. We came home and hung out together as a family for a while, until Gage got tired. Brian told him to go to bed, and y'all, he ran right into his OWN ROOM!!! Not to his crib or anything, but we're making baby steps. That was positive!

Today we planned on going to the Auto Show but it just didn't work out. We had planned lunch with Brian's mom and sis at 1:00 so Gage could nap before. Then we were going to head downtown for the Auto Show, then back west to the ONE Vitamin Shoppe that carries the protein we like. Well, Gage didn't nap. So at lunch he got downright cranky, and neither of us wanted to drag a cranky baby to the convention center. We headed over to Vitamin Shoppe figuring Gage would fall asleep in the car, and I could wait with him while Brian ran in. Nothin' doin'. He played happily in his carseat all the way there so we all went in. Since he was awake, we decided to also hit up Boulder Running Company.

I've been wanting to pick up some Vibram Five Fingers (FiveFingers?) for running. Have you seen them? They look like those socks that have a pocket for each toe. But after explaining where I'm at with my running to the very helpful employee, and running on a treadmill that videotapes your stride, I was recommended into shoes with better support for now, to work on improving my form, ankle strength, stride, etc. Running in the Vibrams at my current point may have resulted in injury. I really appreciated her help! She showed me four different pairs of shoes, I picked the ones that felt best, then got back on the treadmill. Very cool to see the difference a shoe makes! I chose a pair a Brooks. I absolutely recommend you check out Boulder Running Company if you're in the market for running gear (or Keens or Reefs) in Colorado. And if you go to the one at Bowles and Wadsworth, talk to Sara. She is super helpful.

Needless to say, by the time we left Boulder Running Company, Gage was done. He napped all the way home, then napped some more when we got home. He was fast asleep by 8:45 tonight; hopefully he'll sleep all night. We had a nice evening, to top off a nice weekend. I was a little sad to miss the Auto Show; Brian and I used to go every year and I think Gage would've enjoyed it. But, it'll be here next year, and we had a great time with friends and family!

So Tuesday I re-start Couch to 5K! Gage and I can't wait. Tomorrow I just have to disinfect his jogging stroller because it has been in the hanta virus quarantine, a.k.a. our balcony. I will be hosing it down with Lysol!!! My new stroller weather shield arrived last week, so Gage and I can run in whatever weather comes our way! I'm so excited. And, dare I say... motivated?!

Friday, April 1, 2011

You take the good with the bad, even when there isn't a whole lot of good

The good news first? Ok here goes. I have a husband and a son who rock, I had a nice lunch with my mom at Angie's, and I did finish the long version of the piece I wrote for Brian's uncle Doyle at Sox Place. Sound good? Alright. The day was a major bummer otherwise.

It started out alright, Gage and I got up at 7:00. He was well rested, and I was fairly sure he'd slept straight through from about 11:30. He took a nice, hour and a half nap at 9:00, and then we got ready to head to my parents' house. While mom and Gage and I were having lunch, Brian IMd me and told me he was headed home sick. I told him I'd see him later. Gage and I went to check the PO box, which is near my parents'. I have this nasty habit of opening stuff I'm curious about right away, and one of the things I opened happened to be a bill for medical services that I had the day after Brian's ex-employer cancelled our insurance, three days prematurely. It was a pretty big chunk of change, bringing our total due from that ONE day to somewhere between $1400 and $1700. Great.

So I go into my parent's house, and looking forward to finishing up the writing for Sox Place, taking it from a whole bunch of handwritten notes to an actual piece of writing in .docx format. I turn Gage over to my mom and dad, and start in on it. I get two pages of really good stuff, and then without warning, my computer restarts to complete some updates. Had I saved the piece I was writing? Of course not. All gone. Excellent.

By the time the computer restarts and I discover that it did indeed eat my work, Gage is tired and fussy and I need to take him home. So no more time to retype all I'd written, all that I was feeling really pleased with. I loaded up the sleepy guy to get him home.

Then Brian's mom and sister came over for a bit to spend some time with Gage. After a few hours of nice visiting, they took off and Brian and I ordered pizza from Blackjack. I went to pick it up, and navigation sent me to the 100% wrong place. After many u-turns, driving around like an idiot for a while, and finally calling for directions, I finally found it. Splendid. After we ate, I decided to weigh Gage on the Ski, then Brian weighed himself. He is only 9 lbs away from his goal. I'm so super proud of him but ... it really depresses me that he's so close and I'm so far away. Our weight loss goals used to be something that we were pushing toward together, but now he's pushing toward his goal and I'm totally stagnant.

I quit Weight Watchers because I lost the motivation to do it. I can't go to the gym because, well, when? I haven't been able to walk or run because of the crappy wind, and I don't have room for a treadmill or anything. I can try to do the Wii games, but I have a limited amount of time while Gage isn't jumping me to do those, like, a 10 minute window while he's chill in his high chair. Is ten minutes even worth it?! I know all that sounds like excuses, I get it. But I'm in a rut and really discouraged. And it is hard because Brian tries to encourage me but I'm hard to encourage when I'm feeling like a big, fat failure. And I am right now. He's got 9 more lbs to lose. I've got forty five more lbs to lose. Ugh.

Some days are better than others, and I know that. I also know that things could be much, much worse. It has just been a day wrought with unfortunate surprises and wrong turns and obvious displays of my failings. Tomorrow will be another day.

Happy April Fools' Day, and don't worry-the joke's on me. *sigh.* See you tomorrow for what will hopefully be a more upbeat post.