It's Saturday and we are trying to get the little folks to sleep! We have had kind of a busy day so far, with trying to get a few things done around the house and going to my parents house this afternoon. Both kids played really hard and got really tired, which sometimes makes it even harder to get them to go to sleep! But they had lots of fun.
I was very proud of my eating today. I only went over my daily points into my weekly points by a couple which was really good. It was especially good because I made the best cookies ever at my parents house.
Their next door neighbor's son has been battling cancer for a little while now, and the chemo is kicking his butt, so my mom asked if I would bake some cookies for them. I said sure, and then decided Gage was old enough to help. He jumped at the chance to help me bake cookies! It was really fun to do with him. He mixed the dry ingredients, helped me pour them into the mixer, helped pour the chocolate chips in, and helped put the dough balls on the cookie sheets. He loved every minute of helping and I really enjoyed having him help. He did a good job! I used this amazing recipe that I have for essentially chocolate chip sugar cookies (sooooo good) and was wrapping up, telling my mom that the dough seemed a little drier than usual. We were talking about whether the recipe was missing anything (it wasn't) and Brian was joking that it needed more chocolate chips. Then he said it needed peanut butter chips. My mom and I laughed, because obviously, she doesn't just have peanut butter chips laying around. Then she says, "Why not throw a little glob of peanut butter in there?" I said, "Why not throw a BIG glob in there?!" So we did, and the cookies tasted amazing. Seriously, like, everything good about sugar cookies, everything good about chocolate chip cookies, and everything good about PB cookies. They came out pretty, too, which doesn't matter if you're just going to sit down and eat them yourself, but for gifting purposes, gorgeous cookies are important.
I had a sinking feeling in my stomach because they were so good I was afraid I would eat like, 4 of them or something. I told myself I was going to eat one and a half cookies. Well, of course, I was sitting there looking at them, and my (bloated fatbody) subconscious was sitting there telling me, "Just have two cookies. Cmon. A whole 'nother cookie isn't that much more than half anyway. Just eat it. It'll be sooooo good. You'll enjoy it sooooo much. Just think of how it'll taste. It'll be amazing. And just think, you made them! Think of how proud you'll be, eating those delicious cookies you made. Hey, speaking of how you made them, you totally deserve to eat AT LEAST two of them, because come on, you did all that work. It would be weird if you only ate one and half." Ok, that may seem over the top, but it's TOTALLY NOT. That's like, 2 seconds worth of my subconscious mind's reaction to a food I really like. And that just goes on and on and then I don't really wonder why I'm fat! Anyway. I shut it down, told it no, and ate my planned for 1.5 cookies. And then I didn't have anymore, despite my own brain whispering to me to just eat another one.
I wonder if that will ever go away? Will I ever just approach food like a normal person, not like someone who can't resist throwing all the food down their gullet? Guess only time will tell. I hope at least doing WW for a while may quiet that annoying voice!