I've been avoiding blogging about the slightly more serious aspects of my life this week. I guess I was somewhere between deciding whether I wanted to share or just keep it to myself, but I like to be kind of transparent here and real, so I will tell you about it. I had my yearly check up at the doctor a few weeks back, and because of some symptoms as well as some family history things, the doctor recommended having a blood work up done. I got in to do it a few days later since it was fasting blood work.
On Wednesday, while Gage and I were driving home from my friend's daughter's preschool graduation (which was awesome, by the way) the doctor called. She told me my blood work showed a couple areas of concern. One was my triglycerides, which are a little on the high side. Interestingly, they are higher now than they were last year, when I was 25 lbs heavier. And they are quite a bit higher. Also interesting is that we eat much healthier than we did last year! Go figure. Also an issue was higher-than-normal TSH levels, indicating subclinical hypothyroid. I got put on a low dose of Synthroid to try and even this out. I'm really hoping that the med will help with a range of symptoms relating to the thyroid; if not I guess it'll be back to the ol' drawing board. Or doctor's office, as it were. So if you don't know about Synthroid, you have to take it first thing in the morning and avoid food for 1 hour, for best results. This has been an adjustment!
Also an adjustment is the cold, hard realization that my weight, such as it is, is contributing to an ugly health problem. Right now I'm fortunate in that it is just my trigs that are high and not my overall cholesterol. But I'm not very old! What happens as I age and slow down, if I stay the way I am? High blood pressure runs in my family. I don't want that. My best prevention is to get this weight off now and actually embrace a healthy lifestyle. I don't want to keep doing this false start thing I've been doing.
I deserve to lose this weight. I deserve to be healthy. I deserve to look and feel my best, and I deserve to be an active, healthy role model to my son. He DOESN'T deserve a momma who would rather sit on the couch than chase him around a park for a few hours. He deserves a family who can share with him the BEST that Colorado has to offer, the outdoors. And Brian deserves a wife who is happy, healthy, fit, and active. And most of all, Brian and Gage deserve a me that actually likes myself, and I can't say that when I'm 55 lbs overweight.
So here I go again. Not motivated by vanity but by health. I will get this weight off; I will cut the fat. And when my trigs get retested next year, there will be improvement. If there isn't, at the very least I will know that the weight is not the issue. I have lost 30 lbs in three months (years ago, for our wedding); I can lose 55 in one year. I don't have a concrete plan just yet, because I'm kind of just feeling my way through this new realization. But so far I'm working on eating smaller portions of healthier foods, and being more active. I've committed to holding myself to one dessert per month, and it has to be a good one to motivate me to pass the rest of the month. Brian and I have really been enjoying leashing up Chevy, seating Gage in his jogger, and taking some loooong walks. It's a good start. And for now, that is all I need. I have time to flesh out a plan. But I have a start. And I have a whole lot of motivation. There will be ups and downs, I know. But I'm committed to sticking this one out, to not quitting this time when the going gets tough. I'm kind of excited about my new life.