Monday, February 28, 2011

Lord give me the strength

We are starting sleep training tonight. It is our first night of trying to get Gage to sleep in his own bed, and let me tell you, it is not going smoothly! We started a bedtime routine, and he fell asleep in my lap. Then I put him in his crib and he awoke, crying instantly.

So I got him calmed back down, rocked him a bit more, and then Brian and I agreed to let him cry for 20 minutes to see if he'd sleep. We have less than four minutes remaining, and while he has quieted down a bit, he is definitely NOT sleeping. Listening to your child cry for you is so miserable.

I feel like a total failure as a Momma for ever letting him get in the habit of sleeping with us. I did it around 4 months because he was a frequent night nurser and it seemed like a good way for all of us to get some sleep. Little did I know the battles we'd face down the road, trying to get him to sleep alone. This is horrendous.

Only a minute left til I go get him. Although he seems to be winding down, so I don't know if I'll get him, or give him a little more time... God give me the wisdom to know the right things to do for this child. And the strength to do it, even when it is difficult. All I've ever wanted was what's right for him and I feel like I've messed up so bad.

Update: he fell asleep not five minutes after I posted this, but ten minutes later, I went to check on him and woke him up. ARGH! So I cuddled and rocked him, he went back to sleep, and 20 minutes later, I was able to lay him down. So we'll see how long he stays out! Maybe my prayers will be answered and it'll be all night. Who knows?


  1. Oh no... sleep training!! I remember those days! (and I was TERRIBLE at it... I always gave in!). Good luck... and I hope Gage starts to sleep.

  2. Erin, I'm pretty terrible at it myself!! 2 hours after I got him down, he woke up and wouldn't go back to sleep, so about midnight I gave up! We'll try again tonight. *sigh!* Thanks for reminding me I'm not the only one to ever go through this! :)